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Custom How Women Enable Men in Destructive Behavior essay paper
Women play a very important part in the lives of men. When they are young they guide, protect and discipline them as there mothers. As adults they get married to them and provide love and emotional support to them as their wives. Women and men interact in many other different ways apart from being there mothers and there wives. Men tend to view to women as fair creatures who are weak and therefore would behave in a more protective manner towards them. There is a close bond that exists between the men and the women. A man tends to obey his mother and wife more than he would listen to his close friends who he interacts with on a daily basis. At times men would more likely share their secrets with these women. This may make the women to use this knowledge to manipulate the men and such they may in there own manner enable men’s destructive behavior towards themselves and towards the society.
One of the major ways that women enable men’s destructive behavior is shown through the influence a mother has on her son. When growing up sons would normally view their mothers as a role model of what all women are supposed to be and how they are suppose to behave. The growing son will view all those attributes of his mother and even in cases where they lack as what is right. That is the way a woman should be. This can and is usually used by the mothers, either in a conscious or unconscious manner, to manipulate and control their sons when he is an adult. The mothers influence on the son is seen especially in a man relation to his wife, a man would most likely expect his wife to behave like his mother. If this is not the case the man would most certainly try to force her to do so. If the wife shows resistance the man may turn violent or may even begin to use drugs as a result of the stress this causes to him. Also the mother influences her son in most of the decisions he makes both in his family and in life in general a son would side with his mother and in the end lead him to destructive behavior. (Murphy)
Another way in which a mother influences her son is through her attitude. The attitude of a mother towards other men like her husband or colleagues, can in the long run damage the sons view of himself. Even without the use of spoken words, the effect of such wrong attitude can be accurately interpreted by the subconscious mind. The negative attitudes that a mother may develop towards her husband or any other men will in a profound manner destroy or shape the development of her son’s perception of himself. A good example is that of a mother, who idolizes her husband beyond a respectable healthy point, may send a message to her son that men are to be treated in such a godlike manner. This may in future cause the son a lot of disappointments in his marital relationship and hence lead to destructive behavior. (Murphy)
Mothers also play a very important part at influencing their sons. A mother who is hard and tends to criticize her son will raise a son who feels less sure and confident of himself. As a result over time the son may try to work hard to show his worthiness in front of his mother in order tom make her proud. In the long run the son will grow up feeling frustrated. Because all his life he tried to make choices that are more in line with what his mother likes rather than what he likes. The longer the son does this, the more likely the criticism from the mother will continue, even though she does not fully intend to do so. Eventually, she could push her son away, for he will give in to the belief that nothing he ever does meet’s his mother’s approval. He may come to a point where he realizes that too much of his time and energy is being put into a pointless and fruitless endeavor. With this feeling of rejection and disapproval the son is more likely to engage in self destructive behavior towards him self. (Lagrotte)
Finally, when a son is growing up he may develop a very strong connection to his mother due to all the protection and love that she showed him and as such when he grows up he would try to keep this connection strong. Especially seeing the way his mother is aging, he would try to reciprocate by taking care of her and giving in to all her needs. Mothers on the other hand may use this attention to influence their sons they would give them advises that most of the time cause friction to the family of the man, because they do not favor the man’s wife. With time some form of competition for the man’s attention would ensure between the two. This may lead to a divorce with the wife or the death of the mother due to stress. If any of the two happens the man is likely to experience an emotional breakdown. The man is more likely to engage in the use of drugs such as alcoholism which is a danger to his life. (Brown)
The wives that a man marries also play an important part in his life, due to the existence of the special bond of love between them. Many of the decisions that a man makes in his life are at many times influenced by his wife. The actions that a man is more likely to engage in are determined by the wife he is married to. As a result of this many wives take advantage of their husbands. If a man engages in a self destructive activity such as the use of drugs and alcohol and his wife knows it, yet he does not try to advise him against such activities. The man is more likely to continue, knowing he has the authority to do whatever he wants. In the end he may cause financial straining to his family and friends. He may also get stressed and depressed and end up blaming his wife. Using this as an excuse he may turn violent against his wife and end up hurting her.
Another way in which the wives influence their husband’s actions is by being over demanding. Wives would use their emotional influence over their husbands to get expensive gifts that they most certainly desire. Some men will go to extreme ends to fulfill their wives needs due to the pressure that these wives exert on them. This in the long run leads to accumulation of stress as the husband has to work extra hard. Some wives do not show any form of appreciation but instead continue whining and nagging the husband for more gifts. Over time the husband will feel depressed and turn on activities like taking alcohol to enable them to counter this stress but in the long run they may end up increasing this stress level. Sometimes when the man comes home drunk and the wife tries to question him he may give her a beating and later blame it on alcohol. (George Ripley)
Finally, the actions that a man’s wife carries out also influence the man greatly. Research conducted clearly shows that a person is most likely influenced by the person or people that he most likely associates with. The relation between a man and his wife is a very strong one. They are meant to life together for life and make decisions that satisfy both of their needs and consult with each other on all the things either of them is trying to do. Some of the actions that a mans wife may do may be good a good example being going to church but on the other hand if the wife is an alcoholic and the husband is not over time the husband is more likely to be influenced into the consumption of alcohol or any of the drugs she is taking. If on the other hand the wife is cheating on her husband and the husband comes to learn of it, he may feel emotionally cheated as a result he may turn to domestic violence, drug usage to counter the stress or he may decide to begin cheating on his wife in order to get back to her for what she did to him. All this are form of self destructive behavior. (Leonard KE)
Men always act differently towards women. This is usually because of the way they view this women some of whom are their mothers, wives or working colleagues. These women on the other hand may use this preferential treatment to influence the lives of these men, sometimes in a good manner but at other times to their down fall. A mans mother shapes his life in the sense of his view of other women from childhood on the other hand his wife advises him in his adult life. As such women play a very important role to men’s destructive behavior.
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