Happiness in Relationships

The great philosopher of the Antiquity Aristotle considered happiness to be the ultimate goal of human’s life. In truth, we all are trying to lead our life according to our understanding of the highest values and meanings which make it harmonious and filled with gist. There is no the only one scenery of a happy life. Happiness is constructed by every person of different aspects of one’s life, in particular, the relationships and love.

Accroding to  V.Frankl, the founder of the logotherapy, “love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. The salvation of man is through love and in love” (49). Human beings are doomed to love because they aren’t perfect and want to feel the unity in their soul.  Relationships give us the opportunity to respect and love a person and thus, to love the whole world, because the loved person contains the  obscure deep inner world, plunging in which we discover the essence of a mankind and a certain personality, who we love. Loving someone we are exploring the universe, so love is aimed at sharing meanings, immersion in the partner, cognition of yourself and your partner.

What are the ways that help us to know each other better in relationships? In relationships the partner means the highest value, thus our actions are aimed at bringing pleasure and happiness to the partner, considering your own interests to be not the main ones, efforts to come to the compromise or even giving up something for the sake of common happiness and good. Therefore in order to know each other better in relationships it’s necessary to pay much attention to the way of your partner expresses his own attitude towards you via actions. This will help you to understand the type of your partner’s behavior and character and make conclusions which may ensure your communication to be better. Moreover it is very significant to accept your partner and be interested in his whole personality, try to get to know something about the spheres of his activity, the reasons of his actions and the goals in life. All these steps provide the chance for relationships to become happy and strong in future. They should rely on respect, knowledge, interest and will.

Some people consider true love to be a sacrifice, dedication of yourself to your partner. In my opinion, sacrifice isn’t the background of the relationships. They are based on the compromise and treating pleasures and negative experience of the partner as your own. That means the deep empathy and understanding of each other. In such relationships the sacrifice isn’t the foundation but a potential that can be realized without a reproach due to the common idea of the common happiness and challenges. Then you feel that the readiness to give up your interest is mutual. Otherwise it won’t bring about the happiness: “When one of the partners is shortchanged in the ultimate currency — when she is constantly giving up meaning and pleasure so that he can have more of it — both partners end up less happy in the long run” (118).

In order to feel the happiness in relationships the partners have to be happy by their own. Via finding the meaning every minute in the outer world and in other people, making decisions and elaborating  the attitude towards phenomena, holding an active position every partner enriches his inner world and facilitates a personal progress. Considering one of the purposes of our life to be self-development, all listed possibilities result in the feeling of self-sufficiency and happiness. This feeling of happiness wants to be shared between the partners.

To sum up, we always have to consider our partner as the highest value, but not as a tool to attain personal happiness or satisfaction. Love is a hard work and an elegant art, which needs an approach of the strong-willed people, who can reach the highest happiness together.  

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